Sex vs Relationship
For Men sex and relationship are two very different things while we girls can’t usually have one without the other. For us, it is very difficult to separate them.
This has many reasons, one of them are hormones. During sex, our body produces a lot of hormones to make us feel good. Everyone knows the high from a good orgasm. But there are differences between Men and girls. For example, the male body produces dopamine while the female body produces oxytocin. Oxytocin is called the “cuddle hormone” because it makes us cuddly and is also one of the key aspects of mother-baby-bonding. It makes us love, cuddle and want to nurture. That means sex is very personal for a girl. Dopamine, on the other hand, is a pure pleasure hormone. It can even lead to addictions because it solely focuses on the “feel good” center of the brain. It just makes “high”, like a drug.
Both feelings, the cuddly oxytocin and the high of dopamine are very positive things. Both are very nice to experience and that is why we like sex. But if we look closer, it is easy to see how relationships are a more important part of sex for girls. While Men can go around fucking everything they can get their hands, girls need intimacy.
This means when a Man cheats, we can’t be too mad at him. For him it was not a case of being unfaithful, he just had some fun. Kind of like he goes out with his buddies drinking and watching the game. He had fun but he will come back to you because fun and sex are very different things to him than the relationship he has with you.
There is this saying “a Man is basically as faithful as his options” and it is very true. We girls get offered sex regularly. It is how the world works: Men offer sex and it is our decision if we wanna accept it. Dick is free but pussy costs money. So from high school on we always have Men in our life that offer sex to us. So it is very easy for us to turn it down. For once, we are very practiced in it and also we know we can get more Men to offer tomorrow.
When a Man gets offered sex it is very hard for him to turn it down. First of all, there is no emotional bond he needs to have, he can fuck a hot girl even though she was just a huge bitch to him. As long as her tits are nice, he will be game. For us girls, this wouldn’t work. If someone hurts us emotionally we are not gonna fuck him. No matter how hot. And for Men, this also means: after the sex is done, it is over. They don’t want to stay, talk and cuddle. They want to get out and get a beer with their buddies and maybe do it again tomorrow night. Preferably without any talking - because emotions and intimacy are very different from sex for them.
Men need variety. It is in their biology to spread their seed around. Even though we have come far as a society, lots of ancient behaviors are still ingrained in our bodies. We girls want a powerful Man who can provide for us and protect us. That is the kind of guy we wanna give children to. Men, on the other hand, want to spread themselves around. And while i don’t think it is a good idea for a Man to have lots of kids with different girls, the urge to fuck around is deep inside them. Can we really fault them for it?
Especially since the male sex drive is much more pronounced than the female one. Men have a greater desire to fuck, and they don’t need as much preparation as we do. Men just get horny. There are a million things that can turn on a Man, in contrast to girls who often need to be in the right mood first, before any turning on can even happen. And once a Man is horny he can go straight for the sex. No need to play around, no need for foreplay - just straight to the orgasm. What it comes down to is, Men, want more sex than their significant other. So even if the girl gives in more often than she would want to, the Man still doesn’t get sex as often as he wants.
So we shouldn’t use the same scale for Men and girls when it comes to sex. Men shouldn’t be shamed for having sex. It should be only called cheating if they also get involved emotionally. Because that is the bond they have with their significant other.
Men and girls see relationship and sex from a very different perspective. It is very wrong to apply the same rules to both. We need to accept and embrace the differences. That is the only way to form strong and lasting relationships. So when it comes to sex, it is important to give Men some leeway. They don’t seek to replace their girl with another one, they are just trying to complement their lives. Kinda in the same way we girls do when we seek emotional support among friends. This is something a Man would never do. He would never share his intimate fears with a one night stand. Because of this emotional part, this intimacy is part of his relationship. He wouldn’t take it elsewhere.
This is also the reason why Men get jealous when girls talk about intimate details of their life with their male friends. From a male standpoint, this is cheating, because he himself would never do that. It would feel like he betrayed his significant other if he did.
We need to understand these differences and cut Men some slack when it comes to sex with other people and at the same time accept that girls will seek emotional support with other people. If we truly understand these differences we can incorporate them in our lives. And maybe the girl can help find fuck buddies for her Man and the Man can help his girl socialize more. Because those are the needs we have that often cannot be filled by a single person. That does not mean we don’t value our significant other, but sometimes we need more than they can give.
to the comments